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Do you always find yourself engaging in disputes/rivalry with family members specifically siblings? How will you rate the type of relationship you have with your sibling(s)?

One type of relationship people are sometimes blessed with is that which they have with their sibling(s). A relationship you have with someone you grew up and lived with for a great part of your life. In fact someone who knows you probably better than any one. Unfortunately, sometimes these relationships are sometimes threatened or even ended in extreme situations. However, an important question of concern is why these relationships do get threatened?

Just like any other relationship, relationships with siblings are definitely not exempted from downs. However, the relationship we have with our siblings is what I call a bias relationship where we tolerate and accept every flaws than any other. This is simply due to the special connection between the siblings which originated from birth from the same parents or parent figure. Therefore, growing up together makes this bond special, stronger as we grow up learning from each other. They also develop the willingness to share and help each other in times of need or weakness unconditionally.

Just as earlier mentioned, sometimes these relationships are threatened along the way or terminated in extreme cases. During this period, it becomes difficult or irrelevant trying to figure out the origin due to disputes or an already established rivalry. This usually makes it challenging or frustrating trying to not just solve a problem but to reestablish that bond that existed in the past.

Below are some origin of sibling rivalry or disputes;

1. Parent relationship.

Kids always learn and look up to those who take care of them. The type of relationship existing between siblings can sometimes be reflected by the type existing between both parents. The stronger the bond existing between both parents, the greater the chances of a very limited sibling dispute or rivalry and vice versa. How the mom treats the dad and vice versa can be interpreted or implemented in the way a sister treats the brother and vice versa.

2. Parent-kid relationship.

Sometimes parents assume their kids to be the same and feel they treat everyone equally. That doesn’t seem to be interpreted by their kids especially when some realise the slightest difference in treatment from another. The kids may sometimes identify those they feel given more attention as the favorite and of course consider this unfair. This usually makes children compete for attention or resources thus starting some kind of sibling rivalry or disputes. It is for this reason why parents need to take into consideration the kind of attention they give to their kids both generally and individually. They ought to ensure no one feels left out as well as address any thought of bias treatment from any of their kids.

3. Parental negligence.

Similar to the above points, sometimes the way parents feel they love their children can sometimes be interpreted differently by their kids.Sometimes the way kids interact amongst themselves is completely different when they are with parents.These are some factors which are often neglected and can be the origin of uncontrollable rivalry if not addressed earlier. It is for this reason why it is so important for parents not to only have a relationship with their kids but to monitor the interpersonal relationships between their kids. By dong so, they can easily identify what are unnecessary and address them immediately.

4. External factors.

There are other factors outside home which in all fairness are sometimes beyond parental control. Sometimes a child may feel less appreciated than their sibling in different public settings. For example, a kid may be appreciated based on how brilliant he or she is in class more than their sibling(s). They could be admired for something special they have which isn’t found in the other. Sometimes they could feel empowered than the other based on such compliments or the other feeling frustrated not to have such attention.  All of these factors could contribute to some form of rivalry or competition which may be very unhealthy to the relationship.

Generally, sibling disputes are inevitable as there are always areas of disagreement. In fact sometimes these disputes can help improve this relationship in a long-term. On the other hand, if such disputes are not well addressed or handled properly, it could lead to life long rivalry which can cost the relationship.

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